Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Positive + Negative

I've debated about posting on this particular topic for many months now and have decided it's time. Pardon me while I step away from the fun wedding updates and pictures of Pete for just a moment, they'll be back, I promise. I've decided to share what the badger and I have been going through over the past several months because you never know who else is going through what you are and might seek comfort in the fact that there is someone else out there dealing with the exact same problems. You are never alone.

We've been battling with an ailing and failing parent in the badger's mom. In the past 9 months we've had her in 2 alcohol & depression treatment programs that failed due to her not accepting help. We've had to take away her rights to drive and sell her car. We've had to move her from her coastal house, put it on the market, and relocate her to an independent living retirement community. We've dealt with several ER visits due to drunken falls. And now, in the next few weeks, we'll be moving her to a full on nursing home, at 62 years old.

We've been working through it all and feel that if we've dealt with something so major prior to our marriage, we can handle anything that comes our way. I am comforted daily by our faith and friends and other family members with their constant love and support. I've been surprised by the number of friends who have been dealing with similar previously hidden issues that have found comfort in knowing someone else out there is dealing with the same types of problems. I've realized all the wonderful programs and means of help there are out there for people (and family members) dealing with depression, mental illness, or alcoholism.  I feel that God has a reason for everything and that he does not give us a challenge that we cannot handle. There is always a positive side to every negative. It's what makes the world go round.

I am constantly amazed by the badgers strength, courage, and perseverance. He amazes me every day and I am excitedly awaiting the commitment we are making to one another in October. At some point there comes a time when enough is enough. You tell yourself you've done everything you can and cannot let them drag you down with them. Sometimes you just have to let go. You must believe in yourself and the decisions you make. Above all else, you must remain positive.

I am thankful to have been with the badger through this process. I am thankful that the "head" of this matter is now and was not in 2 months at the point of our wedding and starting our life together. I am thankful that one of the badger's brothers heard our SOS call and is coming home early from his Asian travels to help out. I am thankful for my family, my future family, and the rest of my support network. I am excited with the fun events leading up to the celebration of our wedding that start this weekend. Here's to happier times on the horizon....

 



12 comments:

Suburban Princess said...

It is so important to share our struggles. I hope your life gets easier now.

EJR said...

I'm glad you shared, it sounds like you guys have being going through a lot lately. I strongly believe that venting your problems to someone every once in a while is good for your mental well being. I hope that this woman accepts the help that she so dearly needs.

Princess Freckles said...

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, especially so close to your wedding day! My father is a recovering alcoholic, and I can understand how hard that can be.

I'll keep you two in my prayers. I'm just glad that you are able to see some of the positive in this terrible situation, such as your ability to handle it as a couple. That's so important.

Aunt Grits a.k.a Maggi said...

how y'all have been through some tough times. God will continue comforting y'all. Good times are coming!!!

Heather said...

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this!

Sweet Simplicity said...

I hope that things start to turn around for you all soon. I think it was brave of you to share this and you are right you never know who might be going through the same thing and take comfort from this post.

Dale Parker said...

You are so loved. This has been a testament to the character you both have that you have bonded together to handle this.
You are going to love your mixer. I have one like that, in RED too! I also knew your favorite statuary would be the spotted dog. Looks like your pooch. You know the hunt for interesting statuary goes back to the 70's when Ya'll Spoken Here and I would hunt on road trips. Can't wait to see you and catch up.

Always Organizing said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have dealt with an alcoholic parent and know just how difficult this can be. Stay strong!

Mrs. Potts said...

That you both are facing it head on & now is amazing. Definitely a testament to your strength as a couple.

That you shared this is also amazing. Thank you.

writing4612 said...

Yes, through it all, you have to look at the positive. Your faith will carry you through the hard times.

The Mrs. said...

Oh honey that is awful. You are doing great handling all of this and being a bride to be! Do whatever's best for you. Don't feel guilty!

Leslie said...

I am so sorry you are going through all this, especially so close to your wedding. Truly sucks, but it speaks volumes about your character that you're working through this and making the best out of the situation while supporting your future in-law. If you and your fiance can make it through something like this, you can make it through anything.